Found Gifts and Lost Friend

I ran through some of the old stuffs I had lying around the house, and to my surprise, I found stuffs that not only I thought was long gone, but also reminded me of the good times I had with my buddies from high school back then. I've lost touch with them - their numbers, addresses, etc. (back then we weren't so into the whole internet thingy, so yeah, lost touch).

I wonder if I can find my old buddy Zizzi, and get in touch with her... Honestly, it's been like what.. more than 5 years, I think 7 or 8 years now?
It's worth a try to find out =)

Update:
Oh yes! I found her on Facebook, and added her! Thank God I can still recognize her =)
Gosh, it's a good thing that I'm a "collector" *grins*, I think this is one of the times I actually am happy of the stuffs I "archive" =P

Btw, HAPPY MONDAY to EVERYONE, well it certainly is for me!

Say Hi to Patrick!

I'd like to warmly welcome the newest member in the family, PATRICK! No, Patrick's not a starfish under the sea; it's not related to SpongeBob either. If you're watch the big red dog series, you'll know who it is =) Anyways, say Hello to Patrick!

Isn't it just adorable!

Well, another note, he's my first pet!!
in which doesn't need feeding! =P

Lights Away

I'd dare say everyone loves the second the clock strikes "Time-to-head-home" O'Clock. However, my working hours are different from the norm, as such I work from 10am to 7pm, and most of the time I leave later than 7pm. That being said, it could stretch up to 2-3am the next morning. But no matter what time I leave office, I always smile on the way back...

I don't know what's so special about these lights,
but something about them that makes me lighter

=)

Car @ Workshop

Just when you think everything is going smoothly, then WHAMP comes an unexpected incident. Well, that's for most case. For mine, I've actually anticipated it ahead of its time. After 2-3 weeks I finally made the decision (due to financial constraints) to take my car to the workshop and have it checked out. True enough that there's something wrong and it wasn't just me who feels that the car's off balance. Had the mechanic checked and found out that my car's front absorbers are in bad shape. Guess what? Last month's my rear absorbers were in bad shape. What a luck, but they that only happens after 3-4 years of steady, stable driving *winks*.

Yea I know, my car's not too good looking...
Chillax, I'm saving for a polish~
sheesshh, gimme a break will ya?



Bye bye old and bad shaped, Hello New and Original Absorbers!

=)

Bored @ Office

I'm just feeling bored in office. Having done my work, I guess it's time to take a break? Haha. No, I don't want to take up more works because if I do, I most likely won't be able to see my house. As it is now, I work up to an average of 9-10pm daily; that is inclusive of being very efficient and being an effective multi-tasker. So why do I still work till that time? Long story short, there'll always be people who'd delay my work, 'nuff said.

I guess I'll be taking some forty winks as I don't feel the slightest bit of being healthy at the moment. Just looking forward till the end of the day, to head home and continue my self-studies. (Yes, I still have to study when I get home from work)

What Had Happened in Just Half a Year?

There came a point I nearly forgotten that I was once a blogger, even to an unimaginable fact that I had forgotten and abandon my blog. Many would know I'm almost MIA and some would already forgotten about me. "Well, I've been busy" that's the most frequent answer anyone would hear from me at any given time.

So what exactly was I busy about?

Chasing dreams, hitting milestones, getting one step closer to the reality that I had planned since ages ago? Yup! To be more specific, I took a road that many wouldn't think of, fearing the difficulties and "bumpy path" they'll face - within a week after college I decided to dive into my current job (in which I had secured months before completing my studies)! Many would say, "You're nuts! Why the hurry? Why not enjoy your time... We're only young once!" Ahhh, that would be a fair mistake to those who'd be uttering those words. It is because we're only YOUNG ONCE, that we should take this chance to fully make use of our raging spirits and almost unending endurance we all have inside.

That being said, I carried my aggressive attitude and aptitude into my work. Less than 2 months, I was confirmed. Within the next 2 months upon confirmation I took up the challenge of juggling between 4 projects at one go. And in just half a year, I'd been promoted to a Senior position, from a junior position, skipping a rank in between. Some people would ask, "How is that possible?" I'd say "Simple, try doing 3-4 projects at the same time working up to an average of 15 hours a day, 7 days per week. In one year, that's almost equivalent to 3 years worth of work."

"You're a FREAKY WORKAHOLIC!"

I'm not bragging, but I gotta admit it that it does sound pretty impressive there. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to show off or anything. I'm just trying to say that some things are possible to achieve if we put our hearts and mind into it. Well, in this case, I put my body to the test as well. At least in this period of 6 months or so, I'd learned more about myself (and the real working environment and office politics) better than I could have compared to staying in the comfort zone, never once touching close to a barrier of personal limits.

"Is it all worth it?"

Well I sure hope it is! But I'm not looking at small scale benefits. I have greater plans in mind, in which I'm looking forward to realizing them. Therefore, I've sacrifice much fun times, hang out sessions, socializing, movies, and what not, for the benefit of the future. In just half a year, I realized that I can push forward my plans by almost twice its speed and for the remaining time, enjoy every bit of it with the word "Success" easily breathed and spelled.

I'd like to see what happens in the next half a year
*winks*

You Gain Something, You Lose Something

"In order to achieve something, you gotta make sacrifices"

This is something I believe it's true, to the very core of my heart. I've experienced much to say that there is no such thing as a Free Meal. Yeah, I'm sure some would think that's not true. But take a moment to think about it - to make a living, you gotta sacrifice personal time to do something you may not desire and you may need to rid yourself of any form of entertainment... to make great friends, you've gotta put in efforts to commit your friendship... to be in a relationship, you've gotta sacrifice personal time and money... Even if someone says he/she will have no problem buying you meals on a daily basis, do you truly think it's going to be that easy? If 'Yes' is the answer, then I gotta salute your naivety.


In order to pursue my ambitions and build a career in the quickest manner (I'm fine being associated with the term 'Kiasu' but heck life's short, better make the best of it!), I've to firstly forgo the needs for warm and committed relationship, fun and adventurous night lives at parties and events, and also the time for my family and myself. It's no joke. The reason I do that, is to obtain ultimate focus one thing because I'm not really good in multitasking or juggling between two different matters. If it's work-wise managing two projects concurrently, I'm able to do so, but if it's work on one hand and fun-parties on the other, I'll definitely need to let go (and obviously it's gotta be the fun-parties) one of them.

"Eat, Sleep, Shit"

The three basic things anyone MUST do. And if one really wishes for simplicity, well it can't get simpler than that! (Please don't complicate stuffs by telling me "Oh you need to BREATHE too!" or anything as such) But let's face it, life ain't that simple... Even back in the stone age, there's always an additional ELEMENT. The element of ... WORK! If you don't work, you don't eat. That's the rules. Back then, meat ain't gonna come into your mouth. You gotta hunt your own meat (except for toddlers, but they still gotta learn - and learning is work!)


In my current direction of life, I guess I'll just have to live the losses. And hope that the gains at the end of road is all worthwhile. It's important for me to stay in focus, and minimize the doubts in life. Otherwise, I'm screwed!

You Won't Understand/Know Until It Hits You

A person who can afford anything, or have everything provided for him/her ever since the start of his/her life, will not understand or know the true value of what he/she possesses... until he/she loses it. Do you think that it is true?

I personally think that is true...

I've seen so many who'd take things for granted. People who take their friends/family for granted. People who treats every dollar like half a cent/penny. Well, these are the people who never knew what it is like to have nothing, or not to have the particular something. For some of us, living day to day to earn us something decent, or something valuable; we know the true value of that item/particular thing.

Of course, they are those who would tell you that they'd understand how it feels like to have lost something, or how it feels like not to have something. They'd say "I understand how you feel. It's like ..." They may have the words for it, but do they actually know what some of us are feeling, or what we went through? The answer to that, is an obvious NO. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone (but those of you who felt it, well, I guess it's pretty obvious that I'm right) but how can a person born from a rich family possibly truly understand how a poor man lives? How can a person born from the-almost-perfect family (or from a good family) possibly know the suffering of those who came from a broken home?

Yea sure they can feel sympathy, or sorry towards those who are in such condition, but these sympathy or sorry will never equate to the true feelings felt by each and everyone of those who are going through or have gone through those harsh and tough times. Most of the time, telling our stories to them does not even help at all. 'Cause half the times, it is just a courtesy question; "Tell me more about yourself" and then "Oh, I'm so sorry", period, the end of conversation (not exact situation, but similar).

So why bother asking then?
What could you do to help out? Or make things better?

No, we're not hoping for someone or anyone to return us good favor from our stories. Sometimes we tell out, indirectly, to help others especially to those who hear from us directly. For some of us who've witness or went through those difficult times, we know what is to be expected of a particular situation, and we hope to aid others who might just be in the same scenario. For the others, it could that they felt the anger seeing another ungrateful being whose arrogance led him/her to presume that everything and anything will be available when needed and wanted; they would like to knock some sense into these thankless creatures.

Of course, you'd probably deny some of the facts
but as the title states:
You Won't Understand/Know Until It Hits you
(in the face)

Blame The Adults!

Yeah they're the ones should be blamed for as the cause to any disaster (excluding natural disaster - hmmm actually that too! Mother Nature and Father Time right?) that we see today.

You see some guys are mean/evil/devil-in-sight/plain-bad. Whose fault?
The parents!

Why, you ask? It's simple because it is the parents' duty to guide and nurture a child until he/she becomes of age to make his/her decisions on his/her own, and is capable to decided what's wrong and what's right. Not only that, what becomes of the child is the responsibilities of the parents.

Many people think or are given the influence, that it is the fault of that particular person who committed the mistake and no one else. Well, I tell you that's absolutely wrong. Have you wondered why he/she committed those mistakes? Have you wondered what are the circumstances that had led he/she to committing those mistakes? No matter what the reasons are, it can be related back to a single word, "Parents".

Parents are the "key player in any game" where they will determine the directions of their children. Yes, it is true that everyone is different, has different needs, have different methods of doing things, BUT ultimately, parents should all have the same aim which is, to guide the children to a straight, honest and good life.

If everyone parent teaches his/her child what is wrong and what is right (the proper manner, and not confusing them with otherwise), guides the child towards being able to judge and make decisions based on one's understanding of a situation, then mark my words, THE WORLD WILL BE A BETTER PLACE!

Most people think being a parent is easy; you find your love one, have sex, impregnate/get pregnant, give birth and live your life day to day. If you're one of them, you're wrong! Try thinking a little harder and deeper, would you like to have your kid grow up to be just like you or to be better than you? Can you recall the memories of your past (the good and the bad) and its effect on you? Would you like your child to go through the same? We're all very capable of planning, whether it's short term or long term, but the one thing we never do, is to realize the significance of the plans.

Being a parent, you gotta be ready to take up the responsibility of having to guide the next generation to be better than the current. Not only that, you should already have the sufficient resources (mainly, financial) because if you don't, you'll eventually see yourself stumbling upon obstacles, one after another... and who's to suffer? Not you, the parent... but the poor child!

Children or teenager growing up in an unhealthy environment (family problems, surrounding neighborhood issues, etc) may eventually (and most likely) turn out to be the ones we discriminate upon - thieves, delinquents, con-artist, beggar, non-educated beings, etc. When I see a kid running around, hitting others or being mischievous (and causing harm to others), I blame the parents. Definitely not the kid, the kid is simply doing what he wants because he doesn't know what's right from wrong. Or if I see a kid begging down a street, I feel sorry for the kid - Another wasted child! (if I could, I'd help out, but I don't have the capabilities of doing so) Whose fault? Adults!

On the other hand, if I see an adult begging, I wouldn't feel anything but anger/hatred towards them. You're an adult, you should know better what you can do... Disabled or injured, begging is never the right way to make a living - You're teaching the kids that it's alright to depend on people's kindness (more like stupidity, or in better words, naive-ness). They will never learn to be independent, you know! When I see an adult saying something, but doing another, it makes me feel like I wanna kick his/her arse really hard. Don't you know that children/teenager is able to learn things easily (especially if it's the wrong thing)? So you want the future generation to be hypocrites like you?

Well, the adults are the ones who created the "adults" you see today! If you understand what I meant, I think you know what you should do from now on...

Think before having unsafe sex!
Think before getting married (and getting kids)!
Think before acting in front of kids!
THINK THINK THINK!

For the better future!


"They say what goes around, comes around...
If you do something which is displeasing, you will be displeased!"


Adults,
YOU SUCK!
(only if you have not been doing what's right)

Oxymoron In Town

Ever felt that what we say and what we do is entirely different? Well, we often see and hear about others and call them hypocrite, but aren't we all the same? I admit that I often say that I'm very ordinary and simple-minded, but in fact it is not entirely true.

While saying that I'm simple-minded and I do things randomly or spontaneously, I'm pretty much complicated too. Before I spout out random or spontaneous things, I had it thought out before hand, and timed my speech, so it looks random and spontaneous.

Why is it random or spontaneous, if I had it all planned out?
2 things:

1) Random or spontaneous, that's decided by what others...
2) I may have it all planned out, but it never works as how I
want it, and I simply improvise as I go about it.

Sometimes we plan for something in some manner, but we do the opposite (maybe entirely different altogether). For instance, we plan on achieving a certain target in life, but we put no effort into reaching that goal, instead after a certain period we change our target again. That's being oxymoron.

I may try and act ordinary, blend in and all, but truthfully I think I'm a rather unique being if compared to those in my age. The way I see things, the speed of understanding most concepts, my perception, my reaction, the plans I have, are totally different from my peers. Yet, I never seem to be able to portray all that, so most people would take me as another teenage kid who just turned into an adult. I'm not complaining or anything, 'cause I know even I'm acknowledge as one of a kind, well I'll be treated like one of a kind... outcast.

I guess sometimes it's rather necessary to be a paradox, in order to avoid conflict. Like when you know you personally hate something in particular, to the extent you wanna bad-mouth about it so much, yet you put an act as if you're alright with it and everyone thinks that you're totally okay and that you might even like it; 'cause you know if you ever bad-mouth about it, it'll just create havoc - one bad fact leads to a rumor which eventually ends up as a disaster

Put it short,
"I'm Heaven's Devil doing good deeds,
protecting humanity, yet, waiting for disaster to strike,
as pain and misery becomes my pleasure,
motivating me to lend a helping hand"
(anonymous)

Complexity Within

Just when I thought I'd finally found happiness, I blew it away. I thought things would be going on just great when you're finally able to meet someone who's understands the way I do things, my jokes and my principals... But all that turned into memories of the past in just an instance.

I guess, its my complex nature that is to be blamed. Often I'm told that I think too much, that I analyze too much, that I put unnecessary stress load unto myself. But how am I to be blamed? I grew up in such a way that I'm required to think excessively due to background and family issues. Given a chance I wouldn't want that either. Yeah it's true that I'm good at human psychology that allows me to understand another person by simply observing them, but it's nothing to brag about, because it comes with a great cost - Being observant is one thing, being too observant, it only spoils the fun of uncovering the mystery of person.

Rest assure, I'm no magician, illusionist nor mentalist. I don't read mind, but I based everything on common traits, behaviors and attitude of a person, in order to understand someone. Now here comes the bad news, being able to do so, it's very easy to figure out the likes and dislikes, the preference, the possible thoughts, reactions of an action given, of a person - it's like having a spoiler to a good movie, sucks the fun of it...

Worse still, when it is coupled with excessive thinking. Personally, I'm a thinker (despite my looks and my behavior) and it might seem like it, but I tend to think way beyond time and I map out possible outcomes of a certain incident, simulating every possible scenario that comes to mind. Therefore, I'm well prepared for most situation - death, birth of a new born, love, marriage, divorce, betrayal, etc. What's scary about it, is that when you've done so many simulations, and felt most of the feelings (yeah, I also have the ability to understand and feel emotions without experiencing first hand - that being said, I can feel the sorrow of an orphan, the loneliness of a beggar, the misery of an old forsaken man, etc), I become numb to it. When a person is numb to it, there's no shock or surprise that he/she is able to face and handle the situation calmly...

"Simple yet Complicated" perfectly describes me.

This Is It!

The once-a-year has finally come around, and yet it only seems like any other year. Well, probably it's cause I don't put up a reminder and I don't tell anyone about it. I nearly forgotten about it, until my mum woke me up with a loud cheer saying "Happy Birthday Jeff!" If it's on the usual days, I'd probably jump up and go grumpy ('cause I don't like 'em mornings) but today's a little special, I was reminded and told in a rather special way =D At the same time, I know it's been pretty rough lately with the spending, and yet my mum had something special for me - a big red packet. If you're wondering why a red packet instead of a present, well let's just say my mum knows me better than anyone =P

Thanks 'ma!
*hugs and kisses*

Well, not to forget my dearest bestie as well, she sent her wishes via facebook =) I read it at a good time - when I was feeling a little down (due to miscalculation, I bumped into a bunk causing scratches on my car *sigh*). Not forgetting other mates too! They found out about my big day, and wished me =) Let's hope they don't have anything "big" (by that I meant, they'll be up to no good xD) for me

Thanks SiewMei!
Thanks guys! =)

Hours Away from Deathroll

Exactly as it sounds, I no, my mates and I are about to face "death" hours from now... We're at the bottom of pitch trying to "climb out free" from the torments of our Final Year Projects! As of 3am, we're down to our final 16 hours of life, before facing the ultimate anguish - submission! Many of us are rushing, some of us are almost done, a few of us had completed and a couple of us had gone to next stage..

I hope I survive this!
My life is counting on it!






oh did I mention that I have 5 more assignments to go?
well, I've just taken one down, so that makes 4 more?
and that's 4 more in the next 1 week?
to be more specific, it's almost like 1 assignment to submit every 2 days?


Now who still think academic life is the BEST time of their lives?
Even the top of the cream in my time, says it's tough to cope up!
(no, I'm not the top, sadly I'm one of those from the bottom)
I've certainly not enjoyed my time doing academic time..
Nevertheless what I feel, I've gotta get back to work now...



Wish me luck!

I Think I Know Now

My Aunt Lizzy came all the way from Canada to visit us (it's been years since we saw her, and this time around she surprised us by telling us that she's HERE only when she touched down). Love the family moments, it's been a while since we've gathered around. One fine night, I stayed around to chat with both aunt Lizzy and aunt ChengYee, and we spoke about a lot of things - and suddenly I just comfortably told her about my problems (didn't intend to do so at first)...

"I feeling lost, as if I didn't have a purpose in life"
one of the questions that popped out

Believe it or not, that chat went on for hours, and it got me thinking - Have I been running away from my fear and problems all these while, as how they've perceived? It does seem so. They shared with me about their difficult times when they were younger and told me that I've gotta settle stuffs out before doing anything further, otherwise everything will eventually topple over and crush me.

I think it's true, I've been putting on so many things onto my shoulder, lifting things up (one after another), it's time to put many things aside. I resent many things and certain stuffs have been haunting me over and over, regardless of how logical I've gotten through or how I try to think it through. After a week or so, countless thoughts into those matters, I would like to change my logic and instill new ones - the ones I didn't want to believe it at first.

"What's my purpose in life?"
I believe the answer to that now is,
To make a difference in many things...
Life, perception, mindsets, and so on...
I know I have the right thoughts,
now I've gotta work towards bringing it into reality,
even knowing the impossibility of it, it's worth a try...
That way, I believe I'll have nothing to hold me back
from pushing forward, breaking barriers and achieve greatness!
=)

I See a Spark of Light

In the midst of all the mess that's been revolving around me, in the middle of frustration, stressful and pressuring moments, I believe I found something that enlightens my heart. It just came to me, at a spark of a moment where suddenly everything feels right. Nothing needs plan, yet everything else just went along as if it was carefully planned ahead of time. Ahhh, random it can be called. Spontaneous simply rhymes with it.

I do not know what I want to do with it. I do not have plans (in fact I never did) for it. I do not what's to become of it. But what I do know is that, at this very moment, I'm truly blessed and that I enjoy every moment that is illuminated with that spark. And I would continue embracing that blessing and go along with its flow and direction.